A Note From Jenn
I’ve been sitting with something lately that feels both freeing and sobering at the same time.
As leaders, as believers, as people trying to live honestly before God, there comes a moment when you realize being understood cannot be the goal anymore.
Not if you’re serious about obedience.
Not if you’re serious about growth.
Larry Osborne names this plainly in Lead Like a Shepherd. Healthy leadership requires getting comfortable with being misunderstood. Not recklessly. Not arrogantly. But soberly. Because clarity will always threaten people who benefit from confusion.
Validation is Expensive
The Briefing
STOP EXPLAINING YOURSELF
I’m in a season where I’ve stopped explaining myself to people who are committed to misunderstanding me because it serves their agenda. Not because I don’t care. But because I finally understand the assignment.
My assignment is not to be loved by everyone. It is to love everyone. Those are not the same thing.
When your focus is being loved, you become a people pleaser and outsource your peace to external validation. When your focus is loving others, your posture shifts. You move with grace instead of grasping for approval. And often, you receive what you stopped chasing.
Most human behavior is driven by emotion rather than sober minded wisdom. I am not saying to shut your feelings off. I am saying to be honest about where they are leading you.
Alfred Adler’s psychology names what Scripture has always shown. Healing does not come from validating every feeling. It comes from responsibility. From movement. From choosing onward over inward.
Your feelings are real. They deserve to be heard. But they are not authorities. They are indicators.
When feelings lead, growth becomes optional. Obedience becomes negotiable. Calling becomes conditional.
Jesus acknowledged pain without submitting to it. He listened and then led people forward.
You will be misunderstood when you follow God without waiting for permission, affirmation, or applause from other people. When you choose obedience over emotional comfort because being misunderstood is not proof you are wrong. Sometimes it is evidence you are no longer governed by external validation.
The Wait Room exists for this kind of formation. Not to soothe the pain of the process that God is using to strengthen you. But to help us hear Him clearly and move when He speaks.
Even when it costs us being liked.
Especially then.
Form Check
Where have you been seeking understanding from people instead of clarity from God?
Galatians 1:10
What feelings have you been allowing to lead decisions God has already spoken clearly about?
Jeremiah 17:9
Where is God inviting you to move forward in obedience even if it costs comfort or approval?
James 1:22
Sit with that. Pray honestly. Then move.
We don’t rush here. But we do obey.
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And remember before resolutions, return to prayer. Write what God has revealed. Write what still aches. Write what you are trusting Him to refine. Becoming is quieter than we expect, but it is no less powerful.